It is natural to say I have lost trust in everyone I have known, to some degree. I know I can trust my sister over every person I have ever known. She is my younger sister and we have grown up together during the great times and the horrible experiences. I was an adventurous and troublesome teenager, but my little sister was always there to cover for me and my mistakes.
There have been many friends in and out of my life over the past 26 years. One of the people I have lost trust in was one of these friends. We had known each other for years. We worked together, and our significant others became friends. We went to Vegas together for her sister’s birthday. We shopped and partied together. One day I saw a vividly sexual picture of her on my boyfriend-at-the-time’s cell phone. She and he had been having an affair.
I was shocked, disgusted, sad, and felt betrayed on two different levels. After getting into arguments of his denial, I ended the relationship with my boyfriend. He told her I knew their secret, but we never spoke. We avoided each other. I think she never spoke to me in fear one day I would tell her wonderful husband.
The trust was never restored.
I think it's totally fair to say the trust has never been restored. And frankly, I don't think I would ever be able to have an honest relationship with that person again anyway. Maybe it's immature of me, but I don't think with something THAT severe I would be able to ever get past it. I think for the rest of the friendship I would, consciously or subconsciously, always be thinking of what they did to me and be comparing their actions with what they did to me.
ReplyDeleteI know people change and mistakes are made, but a mistake is made once, not multiple times.
I'm sorry about your crappy friend! you're better off without them both!
Thank you!! I really appreciate your comments.
DeleteI totally understand your side, and if I were in your place I would have dumped my boy friend too. Once a person gets bad experience with friends, taking a step back in friendship is natural. So now that you don’t have that many friends is the reaction to your loss of trust. I did not loose trust in any of my friends because of love relationship but I have experienced my friends invariably using me for their purpose and then turning back. When I see movies of great friendship among girls, I wish I had friends like them sometime. Now the situation is I have lot of friends, but I don’t get into intense relationship with them. It is like hi, bye, little bit of hanging around and that’s it. Its better to keep distance rather than getting close and hurt.
ReplyDeleteI identify with your scenario completely. I experienced something very similar with one of my ex significant others and the pain was incredible. Only I was having mine’s kid by the time I found out! It took me over a year before I could even be present when he came to see his son. I think that we will be getting into the forgiveness section of the class soon and I think that there will be some helpful info in there for both of us.
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