I am not a person who tends to blow up during an anger situation. This is a little difficult for me to answer this question since I am not confronted with a highly escalated issue often. I tend to want to discuss and assess the situation with calm words. I seek to understand the opposing party rather than attack them.
However, about a year ago my sister and I experienced a rough patch in our relationship. She would lash out at me, and would refuse to hear me. This frustrated me so badly, in the first argument I slammed the door at her house, and the second I raised my voice in anger.
When people are confronted with these anger-outs, they retreat or fight back. This hurts the initial issue, and possibly the relationship forever. Many people express the feeling of being belittled. The aggressor could humiliate the other person, or ruin a person’s reputation out of spite. I do not wish to be one of these people and I have never been in a physical altercation. But, when people push our “Do not push” button, it may feel this is the only way to handle the conflict, no matter how wrong it may be.
I think it's really good that you are able to maintain your "cool" during confrontations. I need to work on it. I think my problem with my siblings is that I have this sort of notion that no matter WHAT I say or do, they'll forgive me and we'll move past it BECAUSE we're siblings, which is totally false. My Great Aunt has this GREAT animosity towards my Grandmother because she felt like she was picked on so immensely as they were growing up. It's important to deal with conflict the right way so relationships aren't destroyed. it's all about respect and consideration!
ReplyDeleteI feel that its a really good quality to be able to sit and maintain your cool and being able to sit there and take in whats going on and overview the whole situation makes you one of a kind. I feel im the same way in most cases, and I had that one situation to where I really blew up. I think that we almost build ourselves to that point, by being so calm. I think that it is very wise to take the time to express what we are feeling, because it can lead to an outburst. And I feel that the button that needs to be pushed can be short term detrimental, and long term beneficial. We need to express things or else we will find ourselves being a ticking time bomb.
ReplyDelete