You statements and I statements is a behavior that should be implemented in our education system. I have heard many times communication professors say, “Communication is done every day yet a person does not learn about it until they have to pay for their education. In most cases as individuals we have learned our communication habits and now as adults try to reconstruct what we’ve learned.” The first time I heard this statement I knew this was true, sad, and concerning all at the same time. I thought to myself how many major conflicts could have been solved if we only knew a few key communication behaviors to better resolve or understand them. The “you” and “I” statements are one of those many key behaviors and habits.
Placing the blame on another person for a conflict you are also involved in only creates a sense of avoidance and tension. If you stick your pointer-finger in someone’s face enough times they may slap it away, yell at you, or walk away. You may think the reaction is immature or ridiculous, but if one analysis what made that person react, the responsibility is shifted. Finally, the two parties are closer to conflict resolution.
Learning about the “you’ and “I” statements was one of the concepts that stood out to me also in this week’s reading. To me using the I-statements can be very helpful in conflicts in many ways. Btu moist importantly I feel it helps both parties because the issue of blaming one another can be solved by this. As the book says it’s a way of owning up to your feelings and not pointing the finger at the other person or party. For me, this can be very helpful. I never noticed, until reading this part in Ch. 4, that using “you-statements” is something I tend to do in many of my disputes. Hopefully this is something I can work on and get better at though in the future.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I must say, I love the statement you’ve heard from your professors about communication!