Conflict…this word has negative feelings for me when I think or talk about it. I have always had trouble with this subject and being able to manage them. When I was younger and in middle school I was teased a lot, so the conflict was internal. I wanted to be like the other people even though I was made fun of. Children at this age do not grasp the idea of others feelings nor do they have the capacity to use the S-TLC System. Now that I am older and have more confidence in myself, I have a problem with keeping my mouth shut when a conflict is rising. I sometimes think it is because I want my opinions to be heard and for people to know how much I have changed. But this does not change the fact that I need to learn to slow my mind down during conflict.
I have taken a “time out” in all the ways the textbook describes. I do prefer to change the topic or count backward (maybe not literally, but stop and slow my mind down). I am getting better at this. I have learned that with getting to know people you may use different tactics. However, I would like to manage more conflicts by practicing this “time out” method.
Yes, children definitely do not grasp this system. I too had that problem when I was younger especially because I came to the US when I was 7 so I was learning English and kids didn't understand that it was hard for me. I also find myself not being able to keep my mouth shut because I always have to get my opinions out and make sure people know what I feel. Slowing your mind down is probably the best way to manage a conflict because once you cool down you can actually open your mind and not let your emotions take over.
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