There are three different orientations when confronted with conflict. The first orientation is other-centered orientation, the second is self-centered orientation, and the third is relationship-centered ways orientation. This first question is quite difficult to answer since in different situations I use separate orientations.
I tend to mostly use the relationship-centered orientation. I try to please myself and others when I am confronted with conflict. In some situations, I compromise more than I collaborate, however, other times it is the opposite.
While growing up and even now, I have tried to understand conflict while the issue is including multiple females. It is easy for me to be honest and upfront when discussing conflict with males, but for some reason females (even though I’m female) it is harder. I know I must compromise more when conflict is surrounding females due to more emotions and feelings being invested. This makes the outcome somewhat hard, but compromise is a part of life.
While at work this orientation is a balance of both. Compromise is needed when working in groups, and trying to solve a problem. Collaborating is also very involved.
Moreover, when review time is in season I use the self-centered orientation. No one looks out for you when it comes to sticking up for your salary interest, promotion, and other situations/conflicts.
I like how you use two different orientations for life and work. I agree with you that it is more difficult as a woman to talk to woman about your problems. Men are not as judging as woman so; it makes it much easier to discuss issues with a man. In my everyday life, I also use relation-centered orientation just like you. At work, I also agree that one needs to be more self-centered to get what one wants and deserves all though, if one is a manager, I believe that the manager needs to think of themself as well as their fellow employees to make a happy work place.
ReplyDelete